


Sesshomaru Awaits Rin's Return

by myravenspirit



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Blood, Coma, Early Labour, F/M, Near Death, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:22:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27320404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myravenspirit/pseuds/myravenspirit
Summary: Sesshomaru is raising the girls without Rin to the the best ability. Thankfully, Jaken has stuck around and has become the girls' retainer. Sesshomaru dwells in his many thoughts about how he became a father without his wife, the girls' mother, by his side.Contains some mildly graphic descriptions and some suicidal ideations if you squint really hard. One-Shot!
Relationships: Higurashi Kagome & Rin, Higurashi Kagome & Sesshoumaru, Higurashi Kagome/InuYasha, Higurashi Towa & Rin & Sesshoumaru (InuYasha) & Setsuna (Hanyou no Yashahime), InuYasha & Sesshoumaru (InuYasha), Jaken & Rin & Sesshoumaru (InuYasha), Jaken & Sesshoumaru (InuYasha), Jaken & Towa & Setsuna, Rin & Inuyasha, Rin/Sesshoumaru (InuYasha)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 118





	Sesshomaru Awaits Rin's Return

**Author's Note:**

> Rin no kimi: Basically translates to 'beloved Rin' or is a term like prince/princess (It's used in The Tale of Genji).
> 
> Enjoy!

Sesshomaru never strayed from the village after he and Inuyasha placed Rin within the Goshinboku. The decision had been quick and decisive as the tree glowed the night she went into early forced labour.

He kept close to the tree guarding it as well as raising their young daughters. Inuyasha barring all from entering the woods to keep Sesshomaru's secret of living in the woods. Sesshomaru even had Inuyasha inform Kagome, Kaede, and the others that the young babes Rin borne died the following morning.

Rin's greatest fear was abandonment. He knew it well from the several times he had left her as a child to deal with Naraku or some youkai. She would always make him promise to come back for her, and he always answered her with a simple look.

That practice had continued as she grew.

Finally, he could not bear to leave her behind anymore. She was a woman. _How much longer will have with her before she is gone again?_ He wondered.

He made the decision to simply stay with her, marry her so as not to dishonour her as he took her in their marital bed. He renounced his title of Inu no Taisho, Kirinmaru agreed he wanted to walk his own path. He had forsaken the West and Rin paid the price. Kirinmaru was never heard from again.

He stared at the tree and could smell and hear their daughters in the distance.

Rin only had enough time to name Towa before passing out from the poison that had been laced in her tea. Something she brewed in his absence as he and Inuyasha had been dealing with a strange youkai from the mainland.

Too little, too late he had realized it was a ploy. He scented Rin's blood and killed the youkai and ran back with Inuyasha who smelled the blood in the wind as well.

When they arrived in his little manor in the woods, Rin had delivered Towa, the blood covered baby laying by her hip. Kagome who had happened to visit in his absence was between Rin's legs. Moroha was wailing on the floor. Inuyasha removed Moroha from the room and placed her into an adjacent one. He returned and moved to Rin's side and knelt down to touch Rin's brow before whispering to Kagome, asking what she needed. Sesshomaru simply stood in horror as Rin bleed from between her legs profusely, their futon ruined. Her screams of agony in the early labour ringing in his ears. The scent of her blood making his heart seize, his fangs and claws wanted to extend. He wanted to destroy everything and anyone from harming his love. _My Rin no kimi, my love...my everything!_ He howled in agony internally. His jaw only clenched as did his fists, claws digging into his palms.

Inuyasha, at some point was before him again and punched him in the face, bringing him out of his daze. "Hold Rin!" Inuyasha had snarled at him.

It was so atypical of birthing for a man, let alone two, to be in the room, but it felt right as Sesshomaru tore off his swords and armour and sat behind Rin, pushing her to a sitting position. Rin held his hands and cried. "Gomen…gomen…anata…" Rin cried.

Sesshomaru bowed his head and heard as his daughter cried incessantly for Rin and to be held by her mother or someone.

Jaken entered the room and Sesshomaru looked at him. "Milord, I have returned from the palace…Rin!" Jaken cried out, dropping the box from the palace. The small youkai ran over to where the baby laid, naked and squirming. He stared at Towa and looked to the blood and Kagome's teary face. "A girl…Rin…milord, what has happened?" Jaken asked him wide eyes, voice eerily quiet.

Sesshomaru for once was speechless.

"I suspect Rin was the target to anger Sesshomaru," Inuyasha said quietly and scooped up Towa. "I'll clean her up Rin," he promised Rin and walked out of the room with her. "I got you little one, I'll bring you back to your ka-san," Sesshomaru heard Inuyasha tell Towa softly.

Their second daughter entered the world and Rin collapsed back against Sesshomaru.

Kagome shook Rin's knee with her free hand, holding the baby close to her chest. "Rin…Rin!" Kagome cried out. "Iie! Iie! Rin!" Kagome screamed as Rin's legs slowly fell to the floor. She handed Jaken the baby. Sesshomaru watched as Kagome tied off the cord that connected the baby to Rin. The baby let out a cry in Jaken's arms and Jaken sighed shakily.

"Rin...Nee-chan! You promised we would raise our babies together!" Kagome shouted and scrambled up and grabbed Rin's shoulders and shook her.

Sesshomaru did not smell death on Rin, not yet as Kagome shook Rin again.

Inuyasha entered and walked around them and opened the door with Towa in the crook of his arm. "The scent of the Goshinboku…it's changed," he stated with a frown.

"It's also glowing," Jaken added with surprise.

"It's calling Rin," Sesshomaru gathered Rin his arms. "Inuyasha, with me," he ordered and took off out of the room. Inuyasha gave Towa to Kagome quickly and whipped out after him.

Kagome's cries and Jaken's whimpers were heard like a dull ache in his eardrum as he and Inuyasha raced to the Goshinboku to make the deal.

A high-pitched laugh in the distance called Sesshomaru back to the present. He placed a hand on the Goshinboku. _I will bring you back, my Rin no kimi,_ he promised before turning around and walking through the woods to the sounds of his daughters' laughter.

He stopped at the edge of the tree line as he watched Towa and Setsuna dance around in the water much like Rin had as a child. _So much of you is in them, they are your daughters with my strength. Our perfect daughters,_ he mused as the girls tried to catch fish with their loyal retainer.

"Left!" Setsuna laughed out.

"Iie! Right!" Towa ordered with a giggle.

Jaken moved quickly and tossed a fish onto the stream's bank. Another four joined the one quickly. Jaken's practice with Rin had paid off along with his need to help feed the girls and care for them. He never allowed Sesshomaru to fish.

Sesshomaru had offered once when he married Rin to dismiss Jaken, but the little youkai stayed. Forever loyal to him, then to Rin, and now Towa and Setsuna.

The girls stood in the water and clapped their hands together and bowed to Jaken. "Arigato Jaken!" Both shouted out.

"You two will have to find your own mushrooms and fruits today!" Jaken said as he hauled himself out. A lesson on survival skills. Between him and Jaken, the girls had learned what was safe to eat in the woods and what was poisonous.

Both girls nodded and hopped out of the water. They plopped down onto their backs and held hands as they enjoyed the warm touch of the skin. "We'll look soon Jaken!" Towa assured him.

Sesshomaru watched as Jaken cleaned and gutted the fish with Rin's old knife. Sesshomaru smelled the guts of the fish along with the metallic scent of blood. As did his daughters as they kicked their feet in the air and complained about it to Jaken.

"Jaken! It's smelly!" Towa shouted.

"That's the way it is, Towa-sama!" Jaken scoffed his retort.

Sesshomaru made his entrance, he had been downwind and slightly disappointed that his daughters still did not scent or see him. _Are they that much ningen? Too young or too focused on their time with Jaken?_

He had seen them leap fifty feet from high branches. He was confidant that they very much had youki in them, but they had rounded ningen ears and could very well pass off as a ningen. He took several strides and stopped, now in clear view of his daughters.

"Towa, Setsuna," he called to them.

They both hopped up and ran to him quickly. They grabbed his claws on either side and he walked with them back to the woods. He heard Jaken sigh in the temporary reprieve of the twins' antics.

"Chichi-ue, can we go see Haha-ue?" Towa asked him happily as she skipped beside him. Setsuna skipped to the same rhythm as her sister and hummed softly.

He nodded. Both girls cheered as he walked with them in the woods to the Goshinboku.

They arrived in the small clearing and he felt them let go as they ran to the tree and climbed the large, knotted root. They stood on it together and took turns pressing their hand to the tree. They had witnessed him many times press his own hand to the tree, Jaken's hand too.

Sesshomaru sat down at the base of the ancient tree with his back to it and watched their daughters reach out and talk to their mother. He had painted a portrait of Rin after the girls had questioned what Rin looked like. _"Do I look like Haha-ue?"_ They had each asked. The truth was he saw Rin in them both as he saw himself too. They were a perfect blend of his and Rin's love.

The girls always said goodnight to the portrait or the Goshinboku, wherever they were closest too. Setsuna seemed to be the one drawn to the portrait more. _"Haha-ue, Chichi-ue says i have dark hair like you. I really want to hold you and let you brush my hair. Jaken says you used to sing, will you sing for Nee-chan and I?"_ He had caught Setsuna asking the portrait once as she sat before the painting and stared at it, as if willing Rin to emerge from the inked paper.

"Haha-ue, we know you are still sleeping inside, but Chichi-ue does his best!" Towa said as she sat down on a root of the tree. "Jaken does his very, very best too!" Towa added.

"Haha-ue, Haha-ue! Ojisan visited yesterday, he has special ears that I love so much!" Setsuna laughed and hugged the tree.

Sesshomaru stared at his girls happily regaling their mother within with their stories.

They told Rin within that they spent their morning running around the woods and collecting sticks for their fireplace in their room. They regaled and exaggerated on the details of their fishing experience with Jaken, but he let it slide because of their young age.

Despite the joy that Towa and Setsuna brought to his cold youkai heart, there was one person missing that would have made it perfect: his beloved, Rin.

He often wondered if he should have left and forgotten Rin all those years ago in a ningen village after resurrecting her.

Often enough in the darkness of the night, as he sat and watched over his daughters he contemplated all of his decisions once Rin entered his life.

From resurrecting her, to allowing her to travel with him, her second death, her umpteenth time that she had been kidnapped and used against him, to falling in love with her, renouncing his title and marrying her.

A panic would seize his heart that was only visible with a twitch of his brow and pinky.

He would stare at his daughters, pulling up their blanket, adjusting Mokomoko under their heads.

He knew in his heart he would have never given up all that pain, fear, and sorrow if it meant losing his daughters. Rin's daughters. Their perfect hanyou daughters. Their little princess to a title that was forsaken for love.

He even assumed if he did change time so that he never met Rin he would be dead by Inuyasha's hand. He thought it was quite the contemptuous thought, to think he would have been driven by his sheer will and hatred of Inuyasha to obtain Tessaiga could have led to his death. _Would that have been more merciful? To have allowed Rin to remain dead all those years ago in her little village? Would she have died in the woods still or in that small cave she called her home?_

His thoughts would think of how many would be affected if he changed time. Inuyasha would not have the Meido Zangetsuha if Sesshomaru did not obtain it for Tenseiga. Sesshomaru would have let Kohaku's jewel shard be taken because he would not have cared if the boy lived or died.

He would have been cold and dead. His Bakusaiga had been the tipping point in their favour in the battle against Naraku. _What would have been the outcome I died by Inuyasha's hands?_

But Rin had given him a new path.

She gave her smile then her heart, and then herself completely to him as he did for her. She was his only love. There would be no other.

He missed the feel of her beneath him or above him. He missed her soft warm flesh that was his alone to kiss, to lick, to taste, and to penetrate. He missed the feel of her body wrapped around him, or the heat of core around his length that perfectly fitted her. He deeply missed her soft pants and calls of his name and his own rumblings of promises to only let go when she was ready. Always with her, never before.

The softness of her lips on his own, the taste of her tongue as he explored her mouth with his own tongue. He missed her soft kisses as she kissed him everywhere in the same treatment he gave her.

He missed simply holding her at night as he rubbed slow circles on her expanding belly. Her soft voice singing a lullaby to calm the kicking. His own voice singing in answer, the perfect harmony and melody.

He always reassured himself in those dark moments of longing and desire to change time that Rin was still alive, she was only sleeping in the Goshinkboku in order to heal.

_I will brink you back so that you may hold your daughters, kiss them, and tell them how much you love them,_ he promised.

Now in the light of day as his daughters explained that Jaken bought them new kimonos for their fourth summer. He wasn't happy about the reminder that it was now four years and he and Inuyasha had not found a way to save Rin.

He saw something flutter near Towa.

He remembered the spirit's words as she took on Kikyo's form. _"There will come a time when I will need the dreams of a child of yours to tether them to Rin. They will save each other,"_ 'Kikyo' explained.

_"At what cost?"_ He had asked.

_"The child never sleep again. Only once Rin awakens may your child sleep and dream again,"_ she replied softly and Sesshomaru stared as the light consumed Rin and sealed her in.

Inuyasha cursed as Sesshomaru placed his hand on the tree. _"You would harm my child? You would take that from one of them?"_

_"It is necessary, Sesshomaru. The butterfly of dreams will come one day,"_ the spirit said softly. _"This you cannot change. If I am to keep this beloved woman of yours, you must do as I see fit,"_ the spirit added coolly before disappearing.

_"Sesshomaru…we'll find a way before it happens,"_ Inuyasha promised.

Presently he pushed himself forward and up quickly as he pulled Towa close to his chest. Sharp claws slashed the butterfly. The ordinary butterfly. He would not sacrifice his daughter's dreams. Rin wouldn't have wanted that.

"Chichi-ue?" Towa asked softly.

"Some butterfly are bad youkai, if you two see butterflies you will run to Chichi-ue," he told Towa and looked to Setsuna. They nodded and Setsuna hopped off the root and hugged his hakama.

"Chichi-ue, you are such a good strong chichi-ue," Setsuna praised him with a smile.

"Hn, time for you two to eat. Say goodbye to your Haha-ue," he told them gently.

They did so and they walked back to their manor together. Both girls in his arms and content.

"Chichi-ue, do you think Jaken has made the fish the way you say Haha-ue used to?" Setsuna asked as she played with his white hair.

"Most likely," he said with a nod as he looked at Setsuna.

He felt lips on his cheek and then the brush of Towa's cheek on his shoulder. "We love you Chichi-ue. Haha-ue will come back to us one day and you can smile at last," Towa said quietly.

Sesshomaru gave a soft 'hn' before giving her a retort, "Do I not smile enough for you?" He asked both of them. He had tried his best to give them the things they needed. He spoke more and showed more of his emotions for his learning children.

There was enough of Rin in them that they didn't need him to show them how to laugh, sing, dance, or smile.

Towa lifted her head and cupped his cheek as Setsuna cupped the other. Both smiled at him as he stepped over a fallen branch without taking his eyes from their faces.

"You smile Chichi-ue…" Setsuna started.

"But it is sad in your eyes," Towa finished.

His children were as observant as their mother. He huffed and gave them a rare smirk for them. They giggled and just to do something extra rare for his girls he leaned in and kissed each of their cheeks and repeated it twice more until they were laughing in his arms.

"Chichi-ue!" Both laughed out.

"I am your Chichi-ue, I do my best," he reminded them, and they nodded with smiles.

He rounded around a large tree in the quiet woods and saw their little manor. He set them both down on the ground. "Wash up before you eat," he told them.

"Hai, Chichi-ue!" They both took off to the small pump and washed their hands.

Sesshomaru heard a crack of a fallen stick and moved quickly back into the woods. "What are you doing here?" He questioned the approaching figure.

"Sesshomaru…onii-san…you've been in the woods this whole time?" Kagome asked him with wide eyes.

Sesshomaru hated the informal language of the miko. "What are you doing here?" He repeated quietly.

He heard Jaken call the girls inside for their lunch. He had a few minutes before they wondered where he went. The high pitch of laughter peeled in the silent woods. Kagome's eyes widened in realization and she gasped. Sesshomaru watched as she took a step back and then forward as if unsure where to run, back or forward.

"Is your presence why Inuyasha banned everyone from the forest?" Kagome asked him with tears welling in her eyes. "They lived..." Kagome breathed out as Sesshomaru knew she heard Towa's loud call for Setsuna.

"Clearly Inuyasha's orders did not keep you out," Sesshomaru said and turned with a flourish. "Leave us be," he ordered Kagome.

"Can… can I see them? Just once…" Kagome pleaded softly, her voice cracking. "I loved her so much…Sango, Miroku, Kaede…all of us loved her too. Onegai, Sesshomaru," he heard Kagome drop to her knees and her head bowed to the earth.

He glanced back at her. "Iie. I am keeping them safe. They are well and they are thriving. They have her smile, laugh, and curiosity of the world around them. They enjoy singing and dancing. They are content with the life they are living," Sesshomaru explained.

Kagome lifted her head, tears rolling down her cheeks as she sniffed. "You would deny your daughters to be with their extended family?" She asked him as she stared up at him.

"I would spare them anymore loss. Kaede is nearing her time in ningen years. The taijiya and monk are aging too, along with yourself. How would I explain that to my hanyou daughters? Time will slow for them as it has for Inuyasha," Sesshomaru ignored his niece.

Kagome stood up with her eyes casted down. "That is selfish, it is cowardly. They should know love and they should know loss that comes with it. I know you are hurting but keeping them away from us will only drive them away one day. Just because you want to shut out the world, doesn't mean it's right for Towa and… and…what did you name the second girl?" Kagome asked suddenly raising her gaze to meet his amber one.

He turned away from Kagome again. "Her name is Setsuna. Forever in a moment that is how Rin saw herself in my near immortal life. She was just a moment that I will bring back," he stated coolly before walking away from his sister-in-law.

_They will all know the secret that Inuyasha and I have tried to hide for four years._ _It was a foolhardy attempt to say the least._ He thought as he walked up the steps of the house and entered the small manor. He followed his nose to find his daughters and Jaken.

"Chichi-ue! There you are!" Towa said as she smiled at him as he entered the dining room.

He sat down and lifted his cup of tea to his lips. "I was never far," he promised.

"Chichi-ue…whose scent is that on you?" Setsuna asked and sniffed in his general direction. "They smell like ojii-san," she commented.

"That was his wife, your oba-san. She could not stay, but wished you good health," Sesshomaru answered.

A small part of him felt a new guilt. _Do I dishonour you Rin by keeping our daughters from those who loved you as well? Should I bring them to see Kaede? She had loved you as if you were her own little one. Sango and Miroku loved you as they would a younger sister. Kagome too._

_You and Inuyasha were bonded as siblings long before you and I married. You two saw each other's childhood in the other. Pain, loss, the need to survive. He understood a part of you that I never could. He loved you most out of all them. He still searches for an answer as do I within Chichi-ue's books. We are no closer than we were four years ago._

_Yet, I…we will bring you back._

Towa and Setsuna laughed as Jaken told them a tale where he had walked across hot volcanic rocks to see Kajimbo and thought he smelt something delicious cooking, but it was only himself.

Towa fell onto her back and held her stomach. "Jaken…Jaken…you tell wonderful stories!" She cried out between laughs.

"Hai…hai! Jaken does!" Setsuna wiped her eyes as she laughed.

_For now, the girls are content with how things are. Should they ask, I will take them to the little village,_ he promised. He remained silent with a small smile as he watched his daughters enjoy their retainer's stories.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope enjoyed it! My theory is that 'Treekyo' is up to no good. Episode 5 gave us a hint...I think, if you squint really hard about Kirinmaru. We will see. Anyways, done the one-shot!


End file.
